Like a sugar bowl entered in the “vegetable bowl” class, or a glass vase submitted to the “decorated china vase” category, one-off mistakes are certainly bound to happen when there are more than 1,000 entries in the Antiques competition at the Indiana State Fair.
All of the offerings in this year’s Ugly Lamp class, however, could be considered mistakes of taste or function, of one sort or another. This year’s Indiana State Fair is a true Hoosier masterpiece; in partnership with Newfields, it’s a celebration of the art and nature of fun, so what could be more fun than viewing the “mistakes” in the Ugly Lamp competition?
Sponsored for the first time ever by Burgess Auctions in Knightstown, Indiana, a prize of $75 goes to first place in this most entertaining category. Though competition was stiff this year, it seems that the human figure predominated in those fortunate enough to be considered for the honor AND the cash.
I have judged antiques now for at least 25 years, and I have had the intense pleasure of sorting through many entries in this particular category for at least 15 years.
Intentionally dismembered bodies used for lamp bases always grab my attention, and Honorable Mention goes to an armless colonial lass. The Scarlett O’Hara influence of a green velvet ribbon matches the green hue of her bodice nicely—and the tiered lace skirt flares beautifully as a base. Unfortunately, the slightly pink cast of the replaced shade, which is more than likely a real but repurposed hat (as evidenced by the wicker foundation found within) doesn’t match exactly. In this contest, such seemingly insignificant details matter a great deal.
Jarringly dissimilar elements found in another entry excited my curiosity as well. Plop a pastel-dressed wide-eyed urchin atop an unseemly, syrupy, tawny brown base and you wonder if “EC” was having a bad day back in “75” when he or she finally finished painting this home ceramic mold. Once again gilding the lily (so to speak), EC opted to add an adorable family of three calico cats to the base, which are summarily ignored by our gamine in favor of the primary colors of the Raggedy Andy doll she ogles. Garnering third place, said lamp would have placed higher were it not for the more than likely newer, replaced, satin-bedecked, gold-braided bucket used as a shade.
Politically incorrect specimens (once upon a time prevalent) are always big contenders in an Ugly Lamp competition. The second place ribbon goes to a tuxedoed gent clutching not only his bottle of hooch but clinging to his proverbial light pole. Instead of illuminating this most obvious source of lumens, the manufacturer has instead chosen to use a red Christmas bulb to double as the proboscis of our inebriated friend. Even though alcoholics today are not fodder for comedy, W.C. Fields might approve, but then he was known for such shenanigans. The rust on the metal base combined with the jumble of wires required to make this a combination desk/night light merit some sort of mention, as they add to the inherent questions concerning suitability and function.
Originality reigns supreme in my mind when searching for the best of the worst. And what, pray tell, could possibly be better than an original tag?
“Elegant Dolls by Bradley-Korea” proudly proclaims the string tag; a stenciled “35.95” underscores the fact that the more something costs, the higher the level of taste involved. Not only is her flounced tulle skirt enhanced with lace; lace encircles her bonnet AND the garish red shade. Are you not surprised that her five fabric-wrapped wires look like, you guessed it, fabric-wrapped wires—instead of the five fingers they are supposed to represent? There is absolutely nothing wrong with an attempt. No expense has been spared as she dons not only a strand of pearls, but roses in her hair AND a parasol. That original $35.95 price tag suddenly justifies itself more and more. The nicotine stains of decades serve only to highlight not only parts of the lace and tulle, but her mascara-ed eyes and ONE of her sunken cheeks. All this pathos adds up to the $75 first prize bestowed upon this most deserving example. While we appreciate his support, we also trust that Zack Burgess approves.
The Ugly Lamp competition is part of the Antiques section at the Indiana State Fair, August 2-24 at the Indiana State Fairgrounds.
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