Once again, the days of August beckon. I dutifully, and always with renewed joy, return to the Indiana State Fairgrounds to judge some of the items entered into the Fair’s Antiques Section.
Along with my usual categories—Pottery, China, Silver, and Glass—is one of my favorite to judge: Ugly Lamps. The five hours it takes to complete judging all my assigned categories seems effortless, but a substantial portion of that time is consumed by examining with much care those entered into this unique and most anticipated competition.
In addition to the prize money for First Place provided by the Fair for the ugliest of lamps, Zack Burgess of Burgess Auctions in Knightstown, Indiana, sponsors and provides an extra $100 for the Sweepstakes ribbon. This guarantees stiff competition from new as well as past entrants. Thus my feeling that I owe explanations to justify my placements—from a couple of Honorable Mentions to the one and only First Place.
Let me categorically state from the outset that I hate clowns. My selection for first Honorable Mention goes to an entry that, had it possessed either a shade (which may or may not have existed) or not been damaged, would definitely have placed higher. A papier mâché clown, bedecked in no less than a real lace collar, attempts without success to strum a three-string guitar glued precariously to his chest. I say “attempts” because his mittened hands do not quite grasp said instrument as it seemingly dangles in space. Why he sports what appears to be over-sized snow boots is a question lost to time; all I can surmise is he is preparing to wade through the morass of glue needed to attach him to the flimsy base. At some point someone apparently dropped this specimen—perhaps a person of taste and discrimination attempting to destroy it (by accident/on purpose? wink, wink). Cactus sport heart-shaped blossoms on the stem, and an observant viewer might wonder as well at the stylized butterflies encircling the base. These meaningless decorations add to its appeal, making it a welcome addition to any ugly lamp contest. More than likely original, its over-sized bulb perhaps contributed the weight that caused the unsupported stem to topple. There could be many reasons that this clown cries green tears . . . but his unfortunate fate being stuck in an unnatural pose for perpetuity might be chief among them.
Another Honorable Mention goes to a stoic plaster Colonial minuteman. A product of the Quartite Creative Corp. (1960) and all but dwarfed by a huge original shade, he stands at the ready for eternity. In case you didn’t know what patriotic theme this was supposed to represent, said shade is appropriately decorated with drums, flags, bugles, the USS Constitution and the Liberty Bell! But in case you still don’t get it, the words “Infantry,” “Cavalry” and “Artillery” are printed in some of the panels. Imagine if the geometric patterns interspersed among the treacly motifs had been used throughout; but those abstract designs alone would have been completely unsuited to the tastes of the inhabitants of a modern, mid-century ranch house with all of its contemporary amenities. Ahh, nostalgia!
A gargantuan glass-eyed owl stares cross-eyed at us, perhaps wondering why he was chosen for a mere Third Place ribbon. Pity the Fair employees who had to hoist this behemoth—a huge amount of plaster occupies its hearty plinth. Though I’m not sure the shade is original, the “clever” addition of feathers around it could possibly be all that remain of the victim Mr. Owl once caught and consumed.
Second Place goes to another weighty plaster creation. Dwarfing the three cherubic figures who grasp and clutch at the fruit and ribbons encircling the lamp’s second tier is a massive bullet-shaped shade—its plain fabric edges accented with rick-rack. A fountain-like effect is achieved by 28 brass curlicues sprouting from the acanthus stem above the heads of our trio. Unfortunately, some other type of traditional prisms have been used to replace the original brass-encrusted teardrop-shaped ones. Though I am certain some of the frame is original, I am not so sure the fabric itself is. In this category, originality is definitely another consideration.
Now drum roll, please, as we announce the First Place winner in this most hallowed of categories. Let us call him Mr. Fox, for it is not only his wily ways that have earned this entry its distinction. Grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat, his wide smile reveals an overbite so stunning that an orthodontist should be consulted. He sports not only a striped vest and a handkerchief square evident in his top pocket, but a bright red bow tie as well tops off his sartorial splendor. A glazed pottery TV lamp made in Italy, Mr. Fox sits beside a blue, pink, and yellow floriform shade effectively shielding the bulb from the viewer’s sight—an important point for a public unfamiliar with the then-new sensation of television. A bushy tail wraps around him, leading us to notice his set of sharp, overly long claws. In one of them he offers a flower, perhaps to entice us closer to his grasp. As any Ugly Lamp worth its salt should, this excellent example offers an excess of gold, proving any lily gilded must of course be better.
The Indiana State Fair runs August 7-23. Visit the second floor of the Indiana Arts Building to view not only the Ugly Lamps, but all the other wonderful antiques submitted this year.